Refocused

Sorry for my four week absence. Things have been a little weird around here.

To start things off, our computer crashed and we've been without internet for almost a month . . . until this past weekend. During this time my ability to surf the web became limited to the few minutes I could catch while tutoring my nephew at my sister's house. Even then, I'd really only have enough time to check my email or do some online banking. So blogging really got neglected.

It actually has been really nice not having the computer/internet. Sure, it was frustrating when we needed to look up a phone number or driving directions and were not able to, but it was really refreshing not having the option to time-waste on the web. It allowed me to really focus on my children, husband, house, health, and spirit. Instead of time-wasting on the internet when my girls went down for naps, I would bake something delicious for Tanner to enjoy when he returned home from work, or deep cleaned a hot spot in the house, or popped in a Zumba workout, or took a needed nap, or read from the scriptures. I really enjoy what Elder Ian S. Ardern said about time-wasting:

"The poor use of time is a close cousin of idleness. As we follow the command to 'cease to be idle' (D&C 88:124), we must be sure that being busy also equates to being productive. For example, it is wonderful to have the means of instant communication quite literally at our fingertips, but let us be sure that we do not become compulsive fingertip communicators. I sense that some are trapped in a new time-consuming addiction—one that enslaves us to be constantly checking and sending social messages and thus giving the false impression of being busy and productive.

There is much that is good with our easy access to communication and information. I have found it helpful to access research articles, conference talks, and ancestral records, and to receive e-mails, Facebook reminders, tweets, and texts. As good as these things are, we cannot allow them to push to one side those things of greatest importance. How sad it would be if the phone and computer, with all their sophistication, drowned out the simplicity of sincere prayer to a loving Father in Heaven. Let us be as quick to kneel as we are to text."

I don't have a cell phone, so texting  really isn't an issue for me, but my issue was blog-surfing, Pinterest, and online-browsing (I wouldn't call it online-shopping, because I never would actually purchase anything. "Just browsing.") And I definitely was giving myself "the false impression of being busy and productive." The internet is a wonderful tool, but it was causing me to push aside spending quality time with my daughters. I really have to agree with this woman, Ani Taylor, when she identified the difference between being a mother and mothering in this essay. On what it really means to be a mother, she writes:  "It is not just about the snotty noses, carpools and the endless demands for snacks. It is about loving my children. It is about giving my whole self to them. It is about forgetting the world, the expectations, and the 'To-Do' lists. It’s about getting down on the floor, and really playing. It is about taking a few extra minutes to inhale your sleeping infant. It is about singing lullabies and whispering 'I love you’s'."


I love my girls, and I have LOVED these past weeks that I have been giving to refocus on them. Lily is getting way more mobile and interactive and needs a mother who is there to smile, sing and play wither her. Gwen is becoming so much more imaginative and loves to role play. She needs a mother who is eager to be the baby, the super hero, the monster, the explorer. Tanner needs a wife who's been productive with her day, because, for me, being productive usually equates to being happy. I want to be happy for Tanner when he gets home after a long day at work, ready to talk and play and snuggle : )

I am refocused.

And I'm focused on family.